A NEW MOTHERS THOUGHTS

I wrote this on the 1st of Jan... and, of course, was meaning to post it sooner. Better late then never :-)

A NEW MOTHERS THOUGHTS

I think this is the longest stretch of time where I haven't really posted all that much .. I'm not going to start rattling off excuses, I just wanted to give you a look into my thoughts at this moment in time, well at least the main once that are bouncing around.
Life is all about learning, changing, evolving, but sometimes those things aren't so easy, particularly when it comes to major things in your life, like becoming a Mother. Don't get me wrong, I would never trade Jolie and the big part she plays in my life for anything - but it is still a massive adjustment.
You see, even though I am the oldest girl of ten children I have never had much... well I guess you could say patience and the like, to care for them. So much so that when ever my mom needed help with the kidos she would always first ask my two older brothers, and send me out with my Dad.
Thats what I loved. I loved getting out, I just loved being on the move seeing new places experiencing new things. I loved witnessing. I remember when I was 10 we stayed on a campground in Ireland for a month and by the time we had left I knew all the kids and parents on the camp ground and and prayed with most of the kids to receive Jesus. No one told me to do it... it was just the natural thing to do.
When I was 17 I went to India, and it was there that I decided that being a missionary is what I wanted to do with my life. Not necessarily because of the country, but because of the things I went through while there. So I went all out. Right after that I joined up with a road trip team, traveling to all different countries in Europe & Africa. Now that was a time to remember! Since our team was all a bunch of young people we were able to fully focus on getting out there witnessing, we had nothing really to hold us back or get in our way of doing that. Not even a house to get comfortable or lazy in, ha (well, to clarify, we had houses but just different ones for short periods of time in different parts of the world).
3 and a half years into that whirl wind of action and movement, I found out I was pregnant, the best thing that could of happened to me. Why? Well, there are the obvious reasons of how gorgeous Jolie is, and the beautiful experience that one has to experience for them self's of the love between a mother & a child, but I think the main one is that the Lord just has a whole different set of lessons for me to learn. Ones of patience, of self sacrifice, of giving when you don't feel like you have anything left to give, of doing what he did for us, giving our life to the little ones he gives us. Adjusting and changing ones habits and life to accommodate and care for another. And on a practical level, just getting the hang of how to keep your little one happy and challenged.
It's one thing doing what you have the knack for and have done practically all your life, but something completely different trying to master how to do the things that you have never had much talent in, or were even interested in doing. But I am SO thankful for it! Like I said it is the best thing that could of happened to me, its made me so much less confident in my self and so much more depend on the Lord for his strength and answers. Of course, I have my moments of discouragement at times, wondering if I am ever going to get the hang of being a good mum that I so want to be for Jolie and others that will come along, but I talked to a friend the other day, she has two kido's now and she really encouraged me by saying that it always takes up to a year or so for new mums to get 'in the groove' so to speak. And I have only had 9 months of this so far, ha.
Besides all that, life is all about learning new things, and what I am learning right now is definitely new for me! So I think I just need to let go of the past and what I did before and through my self into what the Lord is asking me to become for today. Sounds easier said then done but, as well all know, "I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me". And who knows, once I get the hang of motherhood and all it requires (well I don't think I'll ever fully master everything, but at least get into the flow of it) who knows what the Lord will do then?!
And one more thing to end on, for all of you who didn't know I wanted to make an official announcement that I am pregnant again with no 2! I'd say I am between 10-12 weeks, but i'll only know for sure when I go get a check up. So that would make it either a Leo or a Virgo.
Believe me when I say I am SO happy about it! :-D